Whole Lotta White Stuff

One night of snow and Britain as we know it goes into complete meltdown. The majority of our society seem so devilishly terrified of the white stuff that I’m surprised we don’t see parents with pushchairs collapsing in shock after walking past the milk aisle in Asda. Canadians getting off planes in the UK must think they have woken up in some sort of over-exaggerated horror/comedy, and God can only be looking down on us and laughing how pathetic we all are.

You can call me biased; I am a student so what do i care!? I get days off of college, no work and I do absolutely NOTHING compared to my parents. Wrong. Students aren’t completely nonfunctional, you know. It may come as a surprise to the older audience, but I actually have plans made in my life, people to see, things to do. These could not be completed because of the snow. But do you see me shovelling a 6ft deep grave in my back garden in preparation to end it all, just because of some frozen water? It may bring Britain to a stand-still, but I say make the most of it. Go make a snowdog, go have a nap in a bed made out of snow, go and eat some snow-ee-o’s for breakfast. I blame the unorganization on a few people. First of all, the Highways Agency. We had plenty of early warning, and yet I did not see one bloody gritter anywhere near where I lived, and by the time I saw my first snow plough, there was so much snow I couldn’t muster up a valid reason for it even trying to get rid of the snow. Actually, the only people I blame are the Highways Agency. They are the only people that could really do anything; all the other inconveniences that come as side-effects of snow are really out of people’s control.

I had one of those impulse thoughts this morning, and so went to HMV and bought 4 DVD’s and then bought two books in Waterstones. This is practically the extent of how wild I am. I am an 18-year old male, I have had a horde of people tell me how that is the peak of your life. If this is the peak of my life, I don’t want to know what the rest of my life throws in my face. Anyway, I am reading Charlie Brooker’s ‘For The Hell of It All’, which I brought today, and so far it has kept me very entertained and wanting more and more. And more. And then my own well-being takes first priority and I go and get some food or something. If you look at the majority of things and instantly find a reason to hate it/them, the book is completely for you.

What amazes me about the snow the most is how after having two or three days off of college, work, school, wherever you spend most of your time, people’s concept of routine goes into the fetal position and dies, and everyone expects the snow to last forever and they will never have to go to college, work, school again and we will have endless days off and nothing will ever be the same again. ‘Wow I really hope we have another day off of college, I can see like two or three snowflakes falling OhHhHhH MmMmMmmYyyYyyYY GoooOOooOODDDdDddd!!!!!!!!!’. Face it, you WILL go back to your boring, dead-end job, and you will go back to measly college and before you know it, everyone will forget the snow and it will be as if nothing ever happened. Sorry, but that is just how it is. I’m not saying that I hate snow, not at all. I love snow, it brings Britain together, whether it’s for good or for bad, and it gives people generally a happy feeling. But one day, that cruel, cruel planet called the Sun will click his fingers and what was snow will turn to slushy slush and slushy slush will turn into water. And unless you have never seen water before, you will lose interest. Quickly.

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